The local weather forecast had predicted colder weather and a small amount of snow accumulation yesterday, but it did not come to pass. The weather has turned colder, seasonal, but what little snow there was melted as it hit the ground. I drove through snow on the way home from the town of Carlisle, about 30 miles, but I actually ran out of the snow before I arrived. Disappointing. Throughout the day today, I watched a small amount of sleet float down from the slate gray sky. At least it's cold.
In July, when it was beginning to get hot and humid, as it always does in Kentucky, I had a messy break-up with my girlfiend. There was a summer festival in Carlisle, where I lived with her at the time. For too long our personality differences dominated our relationship. While I was willing to give and go along, she was not. She took my attempts as a consideration as a sign of weakness, and that in time killed the relationship. It all came to a head during the festival. For three straight evenings I had to stay in Owingsville and Frenchburg, covering meetings for the newspaper. I would get home around 9 p.m., to find her enjoying the festival with her sister and her friend K. Her grandmother would bring a lawn chair and sit on the sidewalk and enjoy the crowd and the live music, while T. (the girlfriend) ran with her sister and K. I would walk from the house to town and stop by and chat with her grandmother, waiting for her to show up. She would eventually stop by for a few minutes, say a few pleasantries, then leave again to go hang with her sister or K. She never seemed to miss me. She wasn't happy to see me. I endured being ignored for the first night, but the second and third nights I went back home. Both times, she came back home and asked why I was mad. She couldn't understand how I felt, and she was unwilling to put herself in my place. On the third night we argued. There was a lot of yelling and screaming on my part. It wasn't the first time I had done that. I was tired of being hurt by her callousness (on which she prided herself). She eventually asked me to leave. For a moment I hesistated, but then I realized that it really was time to go - this bad relationship had gone on for almost a year, and I was confused and exhausted with it. I began packing up everything I owned and cramming it into my car. At some point during my packing she had contacted K., who came over and acted all protective of her. K. would later try and encourage me to get back together with T. I was open to it, but T. was not. I was covered with sweat by the time I had my car packed, shortly after midnight. I had damaged my eyeglasses after hitting the door earlier while carrying out a heavy box out, and now they lay crooked across my eyes despite my best effort to straighten them. I told her as I handed her my key, "If this is what you want, I won't be coming back." She didn't say anything. My heart ached for days and days after. It was remained hot, and the weather turned to drought condidtions and remained that way for the rest of the summer. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was free of her. It has taken me this long to do so, with the coming of winter. We work together, we still talk, we are even friends to a certain extent, but I could not deal with her emotional distance and callousness.
I prefer the coldness of nature, not of the heart.